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CHASTITY

Review by (who else?) Chastity Campbell

Starring: Cher, Stephen Whittaker
Director: Alessio de Paola
Video: 1.85:1 Widescreen
Audio: Dolby Digital Mono
Studio: MGM
Features: See Review
Release Date: August 24, 2004

Film *

If I could turn back time….if I could find a way…I’d take back my consent to be in this movie!!!!   Yes, now I finally understand what Cher was saying all those years ago when that song came out! 

Chastity is the story of a girl roaming from town to town, talking to herself and going just a little bit nutso!  Part of me thinks she suffers from schizophrenia, the other part of me thinks she suffers from bad writing!!  

Eddie is a lonely guy, parking cars for a living and going to school to better himself.   When Chastity walks into town, and decides he’s someone she’d like to go home with, poor Eddie doesn’t stand a chance.   The scenes between Chastity and Eddie are the first real clue that Cher’s character is a few eggs short of a dozen!  

Eddie doesn’t know what to make of Chastity.  She’s a bit loony, a bit unstable, but there’s just something about her that keeps him from throwing her out on her behind.

The film progresses in a haze of muted tones, and quick switch photography.  There are a few homoerotic moments where a late sixties Madam/Dominatrix dresses Chastity in baby dolls clothes and chases her through a park.  However, Chastity doesn’t stand for her dominant ways very long and leaves her would be mistress with a verbal lashing no whip could compete with!  

There isn’t really much to say about this film.  According to things I’ve read, this film was a flop during it’s first run back in the late 60’s…putting it out on DVD hasn’t changed much. 

Cher was, well…Cher, only younger!   A beautiful and talented lady who wouldn’t realize her true acting abilities until she slipped on a Mask, and got Moonstruck!   Oh yes, we can’t forget what a witch she was, in Eastwick!

Because of the choppy dialogue, bad editing, and clumsy acting I couldn’t find much about this film to like.  However, the soundtrack was very nicely put together, and come on, it was Cher doing the singing!  What’s not to like about that?!

I wanted to love this movie, I mean after all, my name is Chastity, and yes, I was named after Sonny & Cher’s daughter Chastity Bono.  However, there were just too many problems with this small budget film to help it rise above my minimum expectations.

Video *

The original theatrical release of this film did not do well in theatres, so it’s no surprise that the print did not receive a thorough cleaning before being released on DVD.

The 1.85:1 Widescreen format was nice.  However, the dirt and grain visible in the print was very distracting, and annoying.  Also, the colors were very dull, and grayed out which left the DVD looking very flat!

Audio **

Where this DVD was lacking in video quality it did make up for it somewhat in the audio department.   The Dolby Digital Mono mix had it’s problems but over all it was ok.  There were some audible drop outs, and the levels on the mix did bounce around quite a bit.  However, Cher decided to lend her vocals to the soundtrack and that helped make the difference! 

Features ½*

The original movie trailer for Chastity was the only extra feature on this DVD.

Summary:

With only a movie trailer for an extra feature, low video quality, and poor acting, Chastity’s virtuous attempt at blazing her trail into DVD history was ill fated at best!  Movies this bad should come with a warning label!